“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”-Marrianne Williamson

TOM WHARTON from the Salt Lake Tribune wrote an inspiring piece about real life bucket list stories.  Here it goes...

 

Cynthia Minor has metastatic breast cancer. Doctors say it could take her life.
    But that hasn't stopped the Erda woman from thinking about what she'd like to do before she goes, much like the characters in the new movie "The Bucket List," which opened Friday in Utah theaters.
    Although tumors have invaded her spine, Minor is counting on recent radiation treatments to help her ride her horse again. She also wants to see the Kentucky Derby, visit a number of historic sites in the U.S. and start her own business. Where people with her disease once rarely lived beyond three years, new treatment has extended life expectancy to five to 10 years after initial diagnosis.
    "I have thought of a lot of things I would never do," said the Tooele County woman who has trained horses most of her life. "The doctor said that with my spine damaged, he didn't think I would ride again. But he reneged on that and said I might be able to support the back. . . . I've come to the point that I can't do some of the things I want to. I can't stay up the whole day.
    "But I am holding to the fact that a healing time is coming and I can do more things. It is of major importance getting back on a horse. Even if I don't teach or show again, I want to get back on again."
    Minor, who has taken long-term disability from her job, said it's hard not to feel sorry for herself, especially after she felt so much better once her chemotherapy ended.
    But trying to remain optimistic in the face of pain and often discouraging medical news helps sustain many Utahns, just as it does the fictional characters played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in "The Bucket List."
    A life-threatening illness, even with a good long-term prognosis, can force people to focus on the future.
    Blessing in disguise: Strange as it might sound, 17-year-old Jordan Yates says a diagnosis of testicular cancer changed his life for the better.
    After Yates was diagnosed last July, his burning desire was to attend a seminar by Tony Robbins, an inspirational speaker who helps students set life goals. The Utah Make-A-Wish Foundation helped him attend a recent seminar in Phoenix.
    "I always lived my life in accordance with God," said Yates, who along with his father, Rod, is changing his last name to Bourne to signify a choice to be reborn. "I was not afraid of death, but I wanted to know whether I was meant to live or die. I wasn't going to go in confusion. That's what kills people.
    "Me and my dad took a long vacation to San Diego. We had many hours of fasting and praying. I did not move off my knees. I got a clear answer that I was meant to live and that I would be completely healed. I don't know how, but there is no doubt in my mind that I was meant to live."
    Yates calls his cancer, now in remission, one of his greatest blessings because it forced him to work on relationships and make the transition from boy to man. He still has long-term goals: to join his dad selling real estate and become an inspirational speaker, as well as travel the world.
    In "The Bucket List," two strangers are thrown together in a hospital room. One man (played by Freeman) has put family ahead of money and personal needs. The other (Nicholson) spent most of his life acquiring money for selfish reasons.
    Both are diagnosed with terminal cancer and told they've got six months. Freeman's character starts writing a "bucket list" - things he always wanted to do before "kicking the bucket" - but tosses it on the floor like a discarded dream.
    But Nicholson's character adds to the list and the new friends go off on a round-the-world adventure that includes sky diving, driving race cars and visiting dream locations.
    Social workers and doctors say that scenario, in varying degrees, often plays out in real life. 

    Reordered priorities: John Conway, a social worker at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, said he has known patients to make actual lists.
    "Suddenly, when this diagnosis happens, people feel an urgency to start mending relationships damaged in the past or to get closer to people," he said. "Cancer helps people reorganize their priorities and look at their values in general. They start to look at what is important in life and to achieve things they were putting off."
    Tami Silvester was diagnosed with kidney cancer in March 2006. She lived in a large home with a backyard pool in Layton and pulled down a six-figure salary. While her prognosis is good, she needs supplemental oxygen, had to quit her job and take medical disability, and has moved to a small one-story Rose Park home.
    She and her husband traveled a great deal with her former job, and Silvester is now more interested in simplifying her life.
    "It doesn't have to be any big grand thing, but something quiet," said Silvester, mentioning Sunday family dinners or possibly writing a play. "Maybe this is my chance to do something with my life in a different arena that I could never imagine that I could do."
    Unlike the movie, where the Nicholson character has enough money to underwrite an adventurous "bucket list," finances often limit real people's lists. They have more reasonable goals.
    "I see so many patients whose last wish is to go to Wendover again," said Sandy Jensen, hospice team leader for Community Nursing Services. "They would do anything to make it to Wendover. Perhaps it is because it is realistic and not too far away."
    Jensen said making a list of things to do before dying can help family members who want to meet a loved one's final wishes. That puts the focus on more positive things.
   
    Check your list: DuWayne Williams' cancer is in remission. The 73-year-old describes himself as in relatively good shape, though he admits his attitude sometimes doesn't match. The West Valley City man's main goal after hearing he had cancer was to restore a 1936 Ford, something he accomplished with the help of friends. Then he fulfilled another wish.
    "I always wanted a Corvette and now I have one," he said.
    Physician Rick Frame of Utah Cancer Specialists said he encourages patients with a cancer diagnosis to make a list of the things that are most important to them.
    "These are things you want to do, places to go and relatives you want to see," he said. "Start checking it off. You are as healthy now as you maybe ever will be. Take advantage of these opportunities as you can. . . . Time slips so quickly away. Time is precious. This is great advice for everybody."
    Chris Sharer, CEO of Make-A-Wish Foundation of Utah, helps fulfill the dreams of many younger patients with life-threatening diseases.
    "We're hoping that granting a wish gives hope to keep fighting the illness," she said, adding that "this is exactly what Make-A-Wish is for. It is to say that joy and dreams are an important part of life. The minute we let our dreams go, what's left?" 
  
    * TOM WHARTON can be contacted at wharton@sltrib.com. His phone number is 801-257-8909. Send comments about this story to livingeditor@sltrib.com.
   
    Sharing their dreams
    We asked people with life-threatening illnesses and the health professionals who work with them about making lists of things to do in the time they have left. Some activities they mentioned:
    * Take one last trip to Wendover
    * Go on a cruise
    * Become a motivational speaker
    * Vacation in Europe
    * Go on a church mission
    * See the Kentucky Derby
    * Ride a horse again
    * Restore a classic car
    * Start a Sunday family dinner tradition
    * Simplify life
    * Write a play

Live Your Dreams!

 

Dr. Mike Davison

"Your Destiny Doctor"

 

P.S.  If you have any questions about my life design coaching programs to help you make 2008 great, contact me at mike@PartnersinPurpose.com or call at 847 490-7689.